


In Which Tsukishima Kei Thinks He Deserves a Nice Long Break

by nyitia02



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Pretty much everyone is in this, headcanon that noya throws mad parties all the time, tsukki/dinosaurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5391761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyitia02/pseuds/nyitia02
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was early on a Sunday morning when Tsukishima Kei woke up to find his phone buzzing rather vigorously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Tsukishima Kei Thinks He Deserves a Nice Long Break

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing i post on this website and its not even serious jfc (also im not even sure if i posted this 100% right haha)
> 
> i'd like to thank cody for sending me the text that started this monstrosity off ;)
> 
> enjoy

It was early on a Sunday morning when Tsukishima Kei woke up to find his phone buzzing rather vigorously.

  
He briefly wondered if it was Yamaguchi texting him, but didn't know why his best friend would be sending things so frantically at 7:48 in the morning. He reached over for his glasses, cursing his vision when he accidentally knocked them off his bedside table. He sat up, picked up his glasses, put them on, ran a hand through his hair, and picked up his phone to see what all the ruckus was about.

  
His screen was lighting up with notifications from not only Yamaguchi, but also from that one group chat Tsukishima had forgotten to silence. Nishinoya had come up with the idea for the team to have their own group chat, so that it would be "easier to contact the team regarding games and practices", but Tsukishima was convinced that his real motive was to terrorize the team with his annoying memes every waking moment of the day. Tsukishima sighed, unlocking his phone and thinking that if he saw _one more goddamn "rare" Pepe the frog_ , he'd throw his phone out the window.

  
However, before he checked the group chat, he decided that he'd check the messages sent from Yamaguchi first. This was because- well, Yamaguchi mattered more than the entire team put together, and also because 99% of his messages were in all caps. This meant that Yamaguchi was either very excited or very very frantic.

  
He read over the messages as fast as his tired eyes would let him, and his brow furrowed in confusion. Yamaguchi's texts consisted of mostly "I'M SORRY"s and "I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN TSUKKI" and "IT WASN'T MY FAULT BLAME HINATA".

  
Tsukishima scrolled up, curious to find just what it was that the small orange gnome was to blame for.

Oh.

Oh no.

 _'I don't go with Yamaguchi to **one** party,'_ he thought to himself. _'And this shit happens.'_

The previous Saturday night, Nishinoya and Tanaka decided to hold another one of their stupid parties to celebrate... something, Tsukishima wasn't really listening. He had sarcastically decided that Yamaguchi was big enough to go off to parties on his own, and that he didn't need to act as his personal supervisor and tag along. Parties with his teammates were tiring. And loud. And nothing good ever came out of them. So Tsukishima made up his mind that he was going to stay home that night, where it was quiet, people-less, and drama/craziness free.

He had legitimately thought that this time, maybe just this once, he could escape being involved in anything idiotic. Last time he'd gotten dragged into prying Hinata out of a tree (because he was the tallest and it was almost three in the morning and Asahi, the only other person big enough to do it, was asleep on the floor in the kitchen). The time before that he was pulled into "helping" Tanaka with his girlfriend problems, and as funny as it was to learn that he had lost his significant other because she was jealous and suspcious of he and Nishinoya's ambiguous "bromance", it was still annoying as all hell to have Tanaka crying over her texts on his shoulder.

This time, he really, really thought that just not going would guarantee him problem-free.

He was wrong.

TSUKKI  
TSUKKI  
OH MY G OD TSUKKI I'M SO SORRY!!!!  
I T WASN'T MY FAULT TSUKKI I SWEAR PLEASE DON'T GET MAD AT ME  
IT WAS HINATA  
WE WERE LOOKING THROUGH MY CAMERA ROLL TOGETHER  
IT WAS 4 AM AND WE WERE BOTH REALLY TIRED  
AND HE SAW TH E PICTURE  
THE ONE I TOOK OF YOU WITH YOUR PRIZED DINOSAUR THING LAST TIME I SLEPT OVER  
AND HE YELLED  
AND NISHINOYA-SENPAI CAME  
AND HE SAW  
AN D HE YELLED  
AND THEN TANAKA-SENPAI WOKE UP  
AND THEN HE YELLED TO O  
AND THE N KAGEYAMA YELLED AT THE M ALL TO SHUT UP  
AN D THEN HINATA STOLE MY PHONE  
AND THEN  
THIS  
IM SORRY  
IM SORRY  
**-7:45-**

Tsukishima felt the crushing urge to open his window and throw not just his phone, but also himself directly out of it. He reluctantly opened the group chat, not really wanting to see what had unfolded there. Scrolling up to the source of this nonsense, he saw Nishinoya had sent the picture Yamaguchi had been talking about.

The picture in question was one from a couple of weeks before, when Yamaguchi had slept over, and in his late night high, asked Tsukishima if he still remembered all the names of his old dinosaur toys.

Side note: of _course_ Tsukishima had, what kind of person would he be if he didn't?

At some point, he had pulled out his most favorite and prized dinosaur, and held it up to give it a loving kiss, which Yamaguchi had found life-changingly hilarious. So he did what any normal teenage boy would do when he finds something hilarious. He took out his phone and snapped a picture of it.

Apparently, Hinata had seen this picture, and then caught Nishinoya's attention, who in turn caught Tanaka's attention, and the three had stolen Yamaguchi's phone and sent the picture to themselves, which was now floating around in the group chat.

Nishinoya had captioned the picture with an insane amount of laughing emojis.

Tanaka had then joined in with a loud and all caps-ed "LOOK AT OUR BIG BOY".

Kageyama had popped in for a second to go "What the hell is this", and then removed himself from the chat.

Of course, Hinata absolutely had to add in his two cents. "i think he loves that dinosaur more than he loves us!!!!" he had typed, followed by his usual flood of exclamation points and emojis.

It was at that point where Yamaguchi had popped in with his frantic all caps. "GUYS!!! GUYSSSs!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!??!? TSUKKI'S GONNA BE SO MAD AT US!!!!"

He wasn't wrong.

Asahi had read the messages, but hadn't said anything. Tsukishima made sure to save a little place of respect in his heart for Asahi. Daichi and Sugawara hadn't read the messages yet, they were probably still sleeping. As he scrolled, Tsukishima noticed that at some point Hinata had invited the tiny setter from Nekoma into the chat as well, (he also dragged Kageyama back) but all he'd done was send a "????" before disappearing like Kageyama had before.

The chat only got worse from there. Nishinoya had commented on how Tsukshima was kissing the thing, apparently not wanting to let this picture die out too quick.

this just in: tsukishima is attracted to prehistoric beasts  
**-Nishinoya- 7:40-**

I WONDER IF HE HAS A FETISH  
**-Tanaka- 7:40-**

DINOSAur feTISH  
**-Nishinoya- 7:40-**

Guys what the fuck  
**-Kageyama- 7:41-**

!!!!!!!!  
**-Hinata- 7:41-**

PLEASE  
**-Yamaguchi- 7:41-**

WE SHOULD ASK HIM IF HE DREAMS ABOUT GETTING FUCKED BY DINOSAURS  
**-Tanaka- 7:42-**

PLEASE DON'T DO THAT  
**-Yamaguchi- 7:42-**

i wonder what type of dinosaurs hes into!!!!! LOL  
**-Hinata- 7:42-**

The chat continued like this up until the present. All they did from then on out was discuss in great detail what kind of dinosaurs they thought Tsukishima would enjoy getting ravaged by the most, featuring Yamaguchi's panicked all caps, which everyone ignored.

A new message popped up. It was Daichi.

:)  
**-Daichi- 7:53-**

Tsukishima was confused and slightly unnerved by their captain's response.

God, they were all fucking weirdos. Tsukishima decided now would be a good time to crush their weird dinosaur fantasies.

I have no interest in getting fucked by a dinosaur.  
You all are moronic.  
**-Tsukishima- 7:53-**

There. Short and sweet and to the point. He clicked his phone off and laid back down in bed, imagining the onslaught of laughter and jokes that'd be directed at him next time he saw his team. At least he could ignore the group chat. He heard his phone pinging wildly, but he simply reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.

Tsukishima removed his glasses, setting them down somewhere on the table, and rolled back under his sheets. Maybe if he slept, they'd all be done when he woke up.

After another hour, Tsukishima got out of bed again, grabbing his glasses and checking his phone. He saw the group chat had new messages, there was more all caps from Yamaguchi, and... something from Asahi?

He checked the group chat first. At around 8:05, Sugawara had come on and left a long lecture about how what they'd all done wasn't nice, and that they should show more respect and love towards their teammates, especially Tsukishima, because "you all know how hard he works!!!" He also added in a "don't do anything like this again!! or you're all grounded. from volleyball."

Tsukishima scoffed. Sugawara wasn't his mother, but he sure did act like one.

After the Team Mom had left his rant, the snide comments and laughing emoji's slowed, and eventually stopped. Next, Tsukishima went to see what Yamaguchi had sent him.

TSUKKI??  
TSUKKI  
WHY ARENT YOU RESPONDING  
ARE YOU MAD AT ME??  
TSUKKI DO YOU HATE ME  
I'M SORRY TSUKKI PLEASE FORGIVE ME  
IT'S OKAY IF YOU HATE ME I UNDERSTAND  
)))))))):  
**-8:09-**

Tsukishima sighed, figuring he'd reply to Yamaguchi soon, so the poor thing wouldn't have a heart attack over this stupid issue. He'd almost forgotten about the text he'd gotten from Asahi. It was a little odd, to say the least, because the only team member who texted him outside the group chat was Yamaguchi (and sometimes Hinata and Kageyama, but it wasn't like he responded to them often). He opened the text, wondering just what the hell it could be.

Asahi had sent him one single, simple sentence, but Tsukishima couldn't help but smile widely at the pure beauty of it all.

If u want to get back at Nishinoya, he yells "rolling thunder" b4 he orgasms. :)  
**-8:14-**  


End file.
